Running time: 98 minutes
Starring: Max Beesley, Laura Fraser, Tom Sizemore, Richard E Grant
Rating 6 out of 10
There's nothing like a small, provincial tale for showing up which actors can muster a decent accent, and those who sound just like your mates down the pub when Welsh slides into Pakistani and Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman jokes wander all over the UK.
In a simple, routine yarn, Wullie Smith (Max Beesley) returns to his small village of Inverdoune in the Scottish Highlands after a five year absence, determined to woo Rosemary Bailey (Laura Fraser), having fancied her since he was five.
There's just the matter of a rather crucial football match getting in the way.
A ridiculous bet made at the turn of the last century has left the regulars at Wullie's local - Benny's Bar - in a precarious position.
For if their football team fails to beat that of the supposedly upmarket L'Bistro, the only other watering hole in town, in the 100th annual grudge match between the two establishments, then Benny's Bar will have to shut down.
And L'Bistro, owned and led by preening big-fish-in-titchy-pond Gorgeous Gus (Richard E Grant), have won all of the 99 fixtures to date.
So can Wullie coach his bar of drunks and losers into a decent side? Can he convince stroppy former-pro Mr Doris (Neil Morrissey) to turn out in a Benny's Bar shirt? And can he find time to capture Rosemary's heart once and for all? If you don't know the answers to these questions then you obviously don't watch that many films.
Such a basic formula is just about compensated for by the sympathetic central performance of Beesley, who's frustration is almost tangible at times, and who has the sort of attention-grabbing, leading man presence to make you care just a little and leave the man destined for much better things.
And to his credit, if you were previously unaware of his work, Beesley's warm, understated brogue is convincing enough to pass him off as a native. The same cannot be said for many of his co-stars.
Some are only slightly bad, some are just plain scandalous. But some of the fun - and you've got to get it where you can, frankly - is to be had comparing and contrasting the tones on offer.
In a sizeable ensemble, Tom Sizemore gets away with by playing an ex American soldier (in a solid enough turn), and Ian Holm - as Big Tam, the owner of Benny's Bar - is as reliable as ever.
David O'Hara (Braveheart) and David Hayman (My Name Is Joe, The Boxer) apply their customary support, and there's the surprising appearances of Isla Blair as Rosemary's protective mum and former model and, ahem, singer Samantha Fox as the Benny's Bar-maid.
Not half as bad as the same tale worked in Yorkshire with rugby sevens in Up N Under - also graced by Morrissey's athletic form - but it's unlikely to remain in the memory for a particularly long time.
In a simple, routine yarn, Wullie Smith (Max Beesley) returns to his small village of Inverdoune in the Scottish Highlands after a five year absence, determined to woo Rosemary Bailey (Laura Fraser), having fancied her since he was five.
There's just the matter of a rather crucial football match getting in the way.
A ridiculous bet made at the turn of the last century has left the regulars at Wullie's local - Benny's Bar - in a precarious position.
For if their football team fails to beat that of the supposedly upmarket L'Bistro, the only other watering hole in town, in the 100th annual grudge match between the two establishments, then Benny's Bar will have to shut down.
And L'Bistro, owned and led by preening big-fish-in-titchy-pond Gorgeous Gus (Richard E Grant), have won all of the 99 fixtures to date.
So can Wullie coach his bar of drunks and losers into a decent side? Can he convince stroppy former-pro Mr Doris (Neil Morrissey) to turn out in a Benny's Bar shirt? And can he find time to capture Rosemary's heart once and for all? If you don't know the answers to these questions then you obviously don't watch that many films.
Such a basic formula is just about compensated for by the sympathetic central performance of Beesley, who's frustration is almost tangible at times, and who has the sort of attention-grabbing, leading man presence to make you care just a little and leave the man destined for much better things.
And to his credit, if you were previously unaware of his work, Beesley's warm, understated brogue is convincing enough to pass him off as a native. The same cannot be said for many of his co-stars.
Some are only slightly bad, some are just plain scandalous. But some of the fun - and you've got to get it where you can, frankly - is to be had comparing and contrasting the tones on offer.
In a sizeable ensemble, Tom Sizemore gets away with by playing an ex American soldier (in a solid enough turn), and Ian Holm - as Big Tam, the owner of Benny's Bar - is as reliable as ever.
David O'Hara (Braveheart) and David Hayman (My Name Is Joe, The Boxer) apply their customary support, and there's the surprising appearances of Isla Blair as Rosemary's protective mum and former model and, ahem, singer Samantha Fox as the Benny's Bar-maid.
Not half as bad as the same tale worked in Yorkshire with rugby sevens in Up N Under - also graced by Morrissey's athletic form - but it's unlikely to remain in the memory for a particularly long time.
