Car-cookie comparisons are understandably rare, but the Freetrack's plastic-dunked face brings to mind those half-and-half chocolate biscuits which were always among the first to be grabbed from my granny's selection tin.
There's method behind the Freetrack's funky mouldings though. This machine's purpose in life, when it reaches the UK this October, is to be a family slave while doubling up as a willing partner for filthy weekends in the sticks - a scrub-uppable mudplugger no less.
The Freetrack is banged straight out of the Altea XL mould, but under that extra coating Seat has filched parent VW's Haldex-type 4x4 technology, a multi-plate clutch system that feeds all the power to the front wheels in normal driving conditions but sends grip to all four if things get gloopy. And if friction's really rare, it'll post as much as 50% to the rear. All without so much as a button pushed.
But the beef doesn't stop there: to cross over from being a standard Altea, the Freetrack enlists 17-inch alloys fitted with slightly taller tyres, while the whole platform is jacked up by 40mm for an extra nudge of ground clearance. The final look is rather cool, though you'll have to select colour combos with caution. Yellow on black is fab. For about half a day.
Despite involuntary thoughts about Rover's Streetwise, the Freetrack clears the chemistry hurdle with ease. Despite the rather curious but just-about-permissible combination of brown and black plastics in the steering, facia and door panels (symbolising bark and black tarmac, no kidding) this newcomer's cabin IS classy. The textures are upmarket, the switchgear is more Berlin than Barcelona and all of the buttons and levers are perfectly placed. Best of all, the steering wheel is hands-on perfection - sculpted for a keen grip at ten-to-two and studded with neatly crafted controls.
The driving seat adjusts fully and both front seats are shaped for extra side support while, as with any Altea XL, space throughout comes cheap - the lofty and wide dimensions ensure plenty of head and elbow space. Over your head, you'll find three drop-down storage trays for sunglasses and oddments, plus a fold-away, seven-inch ents screen for rear passengers. Moviegoers in the rear also get window blinds, while a partition net promises to keep energetic pets where they belong.
For storage, you have the flexibility of being able to shift the rear seat bench forward by more than six inches, while the bench folds dead flat for larger loads. Add storage drawers under the front seats, hidden cubbies in the central console and drinks holders everywhere and long-haul stays look feasible.
Only one trim level exists for this SEAT, so there's a plush menu as standard including climate control and parking radar. Top toy, however, is a multimedia kit - a rooftop screen for rear pasengers is connectable to your portable DVD player, games console and any video signal. It'll even play videos off your iPod and beam sound to wireles headphones. The only payable add-ons are sat nav, Bluetooth , directional xenon lights, dark-tinted rear windows and heated seats (with prices yet to be indicated). Safety-wise, this is an NCAP five-star model, though it's a pity SEAT didn't chuck in the optional-extra rear-passenger side airbags as standard.
Before you off-road, you'll be grinning. There's a 197bhp petrol 2.0-litre FSI engine, at around ¯¿½20,500, or a 167bhp 2.0-litre turbodiesel, for ¯¿½1,000 more, to muse over... tough decision? No contest: the former's paperwork is impressive - around 7.4 seconds to 60mph against the diesel's 8.6 and in either car progress through swift bends and over long cruising stretches is positively GTi-ish (despite the Altea dimensions and the elevation of this model, it sits confidently, corners crisply and rides like an upmarket saloon) but the diesel delivers that bit more real-world urgency where it's needed, in mid-range, and calls for less handiwork with the (very slick) six-speed 'box.
And then there's the housekeeping to floor any petrolhead still standing: while the TSI returns just over 30mpg, the TDI does it all on 41.5mpg. The CO2 differentials are equally yawning: 223g/km from the petrol drops you into the penultimate VED band F, while the diesel's 179g/km is a comfortable band lower.
Is it a proper 4x4? Of course not. But given the ground clearance and beefier wheels, this softroader straddled Spain's terrain in a manner that would make you wince from the wheel of a standard Altea.
And best of all, back on the road, the ride doesn't buffet along like an obstinate rhino; it delivers all the refinement a standard Altea offers. In all then, a crossover that is heading for a full house of ticks.
Tiscali verdict: 8/10 Meet el hatcho macho
