After a home - a wedding can be the most expensive thing we ever pay for - with many costing more than a typical family car. According to a 2004 report from Mintel, the average cost of a wedding is now around £16,000, an increase of 50 per cent since 1998. And when you consider the last official government figure for an average salary was £25,170 (for 2003) - before tax - which means that once you have paid tax you wouldn't be far off spending nearly a whole year's salary for your one special day.
When you are talking about such large sums of money and all the fraught difficulties that go with organising a wedding it is unsurprising that it can be the cause of huge rows. So how can you go about ensuring that things go as smoothly as possible?
Who pays for what? One of the best things to do right from the very start is to discuss who is going to pay for what or how much of a contribution, if any, parents are willing to make. Traditionally the bulk of the costs fell on the bride's father with the groom paying for things like the cars and church expenses but things have changed. Recent research has shown that about 50% of weddings are now paid for by the bride and groom, 30% by the bride's father and about 15% are paid for by everyone contributing in varying degrees. Find out the traditional rules of who pays for what.
Unless you are one of the lucky people whose dad has been salting away money on a regular basis since you were born for your wedding fund it is best to get the parents to agree what they are willing and can afford to fork out for. It can sometimes be a better idea to get parents to agree to paying a set figure rather than agree to "paying for the reception" or "for the flowers" as they might feel that this allows them to have a big say in this particular element of the wedding and their taste and ideas may not match yours and could be a source of strife. Likewise it also stops the arguments erupting over the costs - they know how much they are going to be giving you and it doesn't suddenly escalate because you have decided on something more expensive than they planned for. You know how much your parents are willing to stump up and if you decide on something more expensive then you know it is down to you to pay the difference.Set a budget You then need to set a budget of what you can afford - and make sure you stick to it. Work out how much you can afford by thinking about how much of your current savings, if any, you are willing to put towards it and how much you can save between now and the wedding. Then you have to tailor your wedding to what you can afford. All but the most lavish of weddings where money is no object involve some compromises.
For many couples, the only way to fund their wedding is to make sacrifices, a recent survey by stockbrokers Brewin Dolphin found. About 15% have saved money by not going on holiday for a year and 9% have taken on extra jobs.
So how do you set the budget? As a very rough rule of thumb allocate around 50% of everything to the reception, with 10% each for clothes, flowers, photography and entertainment. With the remaining 10% for invitations, thank you gifts, and as a contingency. Currently typical amounts that couples are spending are around £1,200 on rings, £1,400 on wedding outfits, hairstyling, make-up and pampering, £1,300 on the wedding, £6,000 on the reception, £500 on flowers and then the honeymoon at around £2,800 on top.
It may be a disappointment that you cannot have completely the fairytale day you dreamed of but it makes no sense starting off your married life with debt problems hanging over you. And there are lots of good compromises that you can make. For example you may decide that you want a really classy reception so you invite fewer guests to make it more affordable or on the other hand you may choose to invite everyone so opt for the church hall with a sandwiches and sausage rolls buffet. Check out our ideas on saving money on weddings on how to have a wedding on a shoestring.
When setting your budget make sure you include around 10% of it as a contingency fund to pay for unexpected surprises.
There will be lots of small expenditures that you might not at first think of - for example you remember to take into account how much it will cost to get the invitations printed but forget that sending out 100 invitations in the mail will be £30 in first class stamps - and by the time you have a few of these kinds of expenditures you could be talking several hundred pounds over budget.
According to a recent survey from stockbroker Brewer Dolphin, 45% of couples have no financial plan in place to cover their wedding costs. The study also shows that for 10% of couples the cost will ultimately be put on credit cards and that 2% will even turn to remortgaging to fund the day.
If you are considering a loan or putting some of it on a credit card then think carefully about how long it will take to pay off and whether you can afford that. It may be that you are also moving home or considering having children which may also affect your ability to pay off any wedding debts so make sure you don't get in over your head.
Keep track of your money Once you have set your budget the best thing to do is open a special bank account for the wedding to help you keep track of the money. Make sure you then pay all wedding bills from this account. If you are saving up, you and your partner can set up a standing order to have a set sum paid in every month. Make sure it is an account that pays a decent rate of interest (find a better bank account). Likewise and parental contribution whether a lump sum or a monthly payment can be paid in too. Try to keep all paperwork - quotes and bills - for the wedding together in one place.
Most couples change their minds several times about what they want and how much they are prepared to spend on any individual item on the budget - for example you may fall in love with a wedding dress that costs more than you planned or you may see-saw between which reception venue you choose. Keep a close eye on the budget and on the overall picture. You might find yourself agreeing to little extras here and there without appreciating how they are affecting your overall spending limits. By keeping a close eye on what you are spending and keeping a record of any changes you will always be aware of the impact on the total cost - which then reminds you that you may need to find savings elsewhere.
Get quotes Once you start planning your day make sure you get quotes in writing and make sure it is 100% clear exactly what the quotes covers for example is VAT included or not - you don't want a nasty surprise when the bill arrives to find that it is 17.5% higher than you expected. And make sure they are quotes of what the final price will be rather than estimates. Getting quotes and comparing them at home means that you can sit and consider them without feeling pressurised on the spot.
Make sure you shop around so you can see what is available at what price - particularly for the venue, caterer, dress, photographer and cars. But make sure you are getting value for money - there is no point in hiring the cheapest photographer if all the pictures come out blurred. As well as checking the portfolios of photographers and cake makers and seamstresses it is always worth checking references with some previous brides. Make sure you speak to the brides yourself as they will give you a real idea of how good the service was and warn you about any potential pitfalls.
Many venues and caterers will expect a non-refundable deposit to be paid so keep track of what you have paid out so far and what remains to be paid for. Make sure you get receipts for everything paid for. And if spending more than £100 it is generally worth paying by credit card for the extra protection that offers.
Wedding insurance
Because you are spending such large sums of money you don't want to be hugely out of pocket if something should go wrong. And it needn't be anything which is within your control - for example the caterer goes out of business and you have paid them a large deposit and have to find someone else at short notice or the venue you have selected gets flooded. It is really easy to buy special wedding insurance online and you should consider buying it as soon as you start spending any money.
And don't forget about the engagement ring. Depending on how much it cost you may need to insure it separately or you may need to tell your insurance company about it as many have rules about needing to know the details of individual items over a certain limit. It is sensible to keep the receipt for the ring in a very safe place in case you need it for insurance purposes and it is probably also worth taking a close up picture of it too.
And finally don't forget your travel insurance for your honeymoon.
If you are getting married abroad wedding insurance is still a good idea as imagine how you would feel if the airline lost your luggage with your wedding dress in it.
Just remember Britons will spend £4.2bn on their weddings this year, according to research by Brewin Dolphin, so if you are one of those people getting married make sure you spend your money wisely. But also make sure you have a wonderful special day.
Back to the Wedding Planning Index.
