I want to show people that recovery is possible
Stuart, 43, was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when he was 31.
After a difficult period of coping with depression, anxiety and paranoia, Stuart feels his illness is under control, thanks to a very effective antipsychotic drug. His goal is to climb Mount Everest, having already conquered base camp.
"In August 1991, I was on holiday in Moscow taking part in a march against communism. It was a very stressful time as hardline communists were attempting a coup against Mikhail Gorbachev, then president of the Soviet Union.
"That night, in my hotel room, I got a phone call at about 2am. A very angry Russian man was shouting and swearing down the line at me, asking why I was involving myself in their business. I put the phone down and my heart started to pound. I began to get quite scared and paranoid.
"About eight days later, I arrived back in London. I felt I was being followed by the KGB. From there, fears of persecution and depression gradually built up. I got so stressed. About a month after returning from Moscow, I was unable to work and my doctor signed me off.
"I remember having my first psychotic attack, which was absolutely terrifying. I think it was brought on by sheer stress and anxiety. I was lying on my bed and I suddenly felt pressure on the top of my head, and found myself in total darkness. It was like I d been sucked into my own mind and had lost all sense of reality. I screamed out loud, then suddenly found myself back in my bedroom again with this really strange sensation round my head.
"I didn t have a clue what was going on. I decided to move away from London to Devon, to try to escape persecution from the KGB. I thought nobody would find me there.
"In 1996, I moved to Dorchester. I saw my local GP and was referred immediately to the psychiatric team, where I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. The diagnosis was a relief. Yet all I knew about schizophrenia was what I d read in the papers, that it was related to violence.
"I did some research and got in touch with the mental health charity Rethink. I met one of Rethink's volunteers, Paul. He is the kindest man I ve ever met in my life. I could tell Paul my deepest thoughts and fears and completely trust him. He never judged me at all.
"After doctors gave me various medicines, some with unpleasant side effects, I was prescribed a drug that worked for me. It was one of the newer, atypical antipsychotics. I m now on an extremely low dose of this drug and I don t really have any symptoms of schizophrenia anymore. I feel it s completely under control.
"In 2003, I won a Winston Churchill Memorial Trust travel fellowship. I went to Everest for the first time and trekked to base camp. It was symbolic of my own journey with schizophrenia and conquering my own mountains. I want to climb Everest in the future. I think I can do it. I want to do something to inspire people and to show people that recovery is possible."
