Dear Anne,
I've got quite a lot of medical problems, a few which could be fixed with surgery if what I've read up is correct. However, I'm worried about going to the doctor and rattling off a list of problems, some quite private. I think I'd come across as a hypochondriac. Even if I don't, I hate being so broken, and haven't admitted most of my problems to anyone. How would I explain prescriptions or hospital visits to family and friends? Would it be better to explain all my problems in one sitting, or go on putting up with them till they can be solved one at a time? Mark
Dear Mark,
I'm sorry you have various problems. One you haven't identified is that idea of yours that you're somehow "broken". Illness is nothing to be ashamed of. People's bodies aren't perfect. That's why hospitals, doctors, physios, dentists and so on exist! Nobody is completely healthy all the time. Expecting to be permanently 100% is unrealistic, so please stop criticising yourself for being human! Bottling all this up means you can't get feedback from other people so you've stayed stuck inside your fears. Having put off going to the doctor for so long, you've got a bit of a backlog but that's OK. It can be dealt with.
Doctors aren't all the same. Some are good at listening. Some are sympathetic and understanding. Why not start by discussing a couple of your less private issues with your GP and see how s/he responds? Bear in mind that medication isn't always appropriate, and that anyway different medicines suit different individuals so sometimes it's a case of suck it and see. If you don't think that doctor's listening, you can either find another GP or ask for a second opinion. You could even consider making an appointment to see a private GP if you like. It can help to make a list of the symptoms you're discussing so you're able to state them clearly to the doctor. Once you've got a couple of things cleared up, you can decide how much more to ask about at a subsequent appointment.
What you choose to tell friends and family is up to you. At some point they'll have been ill so they should know what it's like. If your problems are sexual, you don't have to announce that to all and sundry, though at least telling your partner (if any) is essential so the partner doesn't feel unloved. You could say to others that you have a bit of a problem with your waterworks, for example, or pass it off as a problem with your innards, which is suitably vague. If they want to know more than you're ready to tell them, just say, "I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind, but I am dealing with it." And then just change the subject.
Just as if you had a problem with plumbing or your PC that you couldn't fix, it makes sense to seek trained help. It's good problem-solving, and so is going to the doctor! Besides, doctors have seen everything about the human body so you don't need to be embarrassed or ashamed. Good luck, Mark, and take action!
