Dear Anne,
I'm writing to you to see if my situation is as serious as I think. I'm in sixth form and I have recently started to develop a notion that one of my subject teachers is a lesbian who has feelings for me and other girls in my class. I've started to think this after numerous comments refering to my body and the bodies of others: nothing seems that serious, just random remarks like "Ooh, your legs are gorgeous" or "Haven't your breasts grown?" Recently it's started to make me feel deeply uncomfortable as the verbal flirtations have became physical. A few weeks ago in a detention the teacher started to stroke my inner thigh after I complained of being cold. After I moved away she said I could go home. I really don't know what to do? Anon
Dear Anon,
I'm sorry that you've been made so uncomfortable by your teacher's inappropriate words and actions. Teachers are allowed to comment on things like having clean, tidy hair but personal remarks about body-shapes and so forth aren't acceptable. Nor is it OK for her to flirt or touch you or other girls in invasive ways.
Why not ask other girls in your class if they've been on the receiving end of inappropriate remarks or touches? Then you'd have some support when you go and talk to your head of year. Even if no one else is willing to speak up, you should go, alone or with a friend for moral support. Because this teacher's behaviour isn't acceptable. What if it happened to someone who isn't as willing as you to stand up for themselves? If you're brave enough to say something, then you'll be protecting others as well as yourself, won't you?
Please, please seek help to deal with this rather than trying to pretend it's not happening. As well as your head of year, you need to tell your parents and they need to discuss it with your HoY.
Whatever happens to this teacher, she's brought it on herself because it's entirely the consequence of her own actions. It doesn't reflect on you (or your friends) in any way. It's best not to gossip about it to anyone else, though you could talk to your school nurse or your head of year.
I congratulate you on your good sense in seeking help about this issue. You deserve safety and so do other girls in your school, so good for you for speaking up about it to the right people! Good luck.
