I have had a foot fetish all my adult life and it drives me to absolute distraction, especially in the summer months. Whenever I see bare soles I want to tickle them! How can I cure myself of this? Stephen
People get hooked on feet when they're really small. There they are, crawling around because they can't walk yet, and along comes the primary caretaker with attention and care to make them happy. When adolescence arrives, new sexual feelings bring pleasure, and the person who's already associated feet with pleasure now makes the new connexion to sexual fulfilment. Wanting to tickle people's bare feet is wanting to touch them and make them feel things, not least so they'll do something to make you feel good too. But as you know, this cross between infancy and sexual maturity isn't always appropriate.
As you want to stop this urge, you could have a couple of sessions with an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) therapist. You'll find them listed in Yellow Pages under Counselling & Advice. Also, instead of looking at people's feet to find pleasure, why not start concentrating on people's faces and expressions instead? That'll help you see them as real people with whom you can have rewarding friendships and relationships. Good luck.Dear Anne
How can I tell if a man fancies me? He insults me all the time, pokes me in the arm and constantly stares and winks at me. He asked me out but I said no because I was attached. However he told my twin if I wanted to upgrade he would be there. I have since separated and given him my number but I haven't heard from him. Yet he still winks at me ... What do I do? Freda
I'm sorry this guy is making you the object of his playground behaviours. His arrogant remark to your sister and his mind-games show that whether or not he fancies you, he certainly enjoys pulling your strings. Does this sound like the basis of a good, mutually respectful relationship to you?
So what will you do? Carry on going all fluttery and encouraging his silly manipulations? Pursue him so he feels he'll always have the upper hand in your relationship however he behaves? Or tell him to go fly a kite? Up to you, Freda. I bet you can tell what I'd do though! Back to Ask Anne