Dear Anne,
Recently my boyfriend told me he couldn't be around my mum too much because she told him she fancied him. It makes him feel awkward and that puts pressure on me because our child needs to be around his nan and his father. Lately it's been getting worse. When I'm not around she will tell him she 'loves' him and really wants him and now she's starting to tell him things to split us up and it's really getting to me. I really don't think I can deal with it anymore and I'm going to end up not speaking to my mum, which means it will be hard for my son to see his nan. Please, please help. Anon
Dear Anon,
This isn't acceptable, is it? I'm not surprised you and your boyfriend are upset. However her advances can only be carried out in secret and it's great that your boyfriend's not happy about them.
There will hopefuly be no need for a falling-out or even a row. One solution is for you and your boyfriend to get your mum on her own and say something like, "(My bf) is uncomfortable because you've been rather flirty around him lately. We're sure you don't mean anything hurtful by it and Mum, I love you, but please can you stop being flirty around him?"
She's likely to back off and deny it. Fine, problem solved. She may go full-tilt at it: "Yes I love him and I want him," in which case your bf says simply that she's a nice woman and no doubt she'll find someone nice for herself soon but he loves you. After that, you can make sure it's you, or the two of you, who drop off your son at his nan's so your bf is never left alone with her. I hope your mum gets over her desperation and that you encourage her to get out and about more. I wish all of you a happy outcome to this.
