Dear Anne,
I need to know what I should do about this idiot at school. He thinks it's funny to take the rip about people who threaten suicide and people who have commited suicide. I think I should teach him a lesson because no one in my school will. My friend's dad has threatened to commit suicide and my father has already commited suicide so I feel the need to show him why it's wrong to find suicide funny. He is just vile. Bill
Dear Bill,
You're right in saying this guy needs to learn that this behaviour is extremely unpleasant. It shows a lack of human sympathy and little foresight. He keeps causing you and your friend distress, which is bullying. However, it's not your job to fix him.
I urge you and your friend to report this heartless lout to your head of year. Let him/her know what this bully has been saying and when. Your school will have a policy on bullying and your mum could send your head of year a note asking for a copy of the policy. Your friend's mum could make a similar request. It'll probably take a few days for this to be printed off. This will give both mothers a good basis for a discussion with the HoY, so she could write or phone to make an appointment. As you and your friend have been distressed, it would be a good idea for you both to go and talk to your school nurse too. If this lad makes hurtful remarks again, you can shout, "Stop bullying me!" as loudly as you can, and report it immediately to the member of staff on duty. It's not worth your retaliating verbally or physically as this would open you up to criticism of being a bully in turn. For more on bullying and how to deal with it, you and your friend (and your mums) could go to www.bullying.co.uk or www.dcsf.gov.uk/bullying.
There are organisations offering support to those who have been bereaved by suicide. One has a useful website at www.uk-sobs.org.uk and runs a helpline on 0870 241 3337. This could be of benefit both to you and to your mother.
I do sympathise both on your distressing loss and on this horrible form of bullying. I'm sure your school will deal with it if you let them know what's been happening. I wish you safety and peace of mind.
