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Is This Teen Porn Legal? - Agony Aunt

Ask Anne

Dear Anne

I have been seeing a man for 2 years. Everything was going great until I found he had some porn on his computer and quite rightly I got mad and asked him to remove it. He did and then to my astonishment when I was in his room one day, a cupboard at the top of his wardrobe fell open and some videos and discs fell out. I asked him what they were. He said nothing and tried to snatch them out of my hands, saying they weren't his, which turned out to be a lie. He lives with his elderly mother. When she heard the noise she came in, demanding to know what was going on and why I was so upset. She demanded to know what was on the discs. He had labelled them nice and it was revolting hard porn. His poor mother was shocked and demanded an explanation from him. His answer was that he was fascinated by watching teens have sex. We had an active sex�life at the time and I feel very betrayed by him. Most of the porn was of anal sex, rape and virgins. As he has said that this fascination has been going on for about 10 years I am scared it could turn to worse. When the discs were played his eyes lit up and I could see he was getting aroused right in front of us. The moment his mother left the room he wanted to make love to me. I said no, of course. Some of the teenagers did not look old enough to have sex. In fact most of it was rape. Am I right to be concerned over this? Angel

Dear Angel

Like many women you have found all this very distressing. Your letter raises a number of questions. Let's take them one by one.

First of all, you say you felt angry and betrayed. You know pornography matters enough to him to lie about it. You have no evidence for believing this could, in your words, turn to worse, and for the vast majority of men it doesn't. Then again up until this point you had no evidence that he liked porn in the first place. Now you have to decide whether you want to continue a relationship with a guy who likes this sort of thing. You have the evidence of your own eyes to tell you that he is not going to stop enjoying it on your say-so. Many men (and some women) enjoy the impersonal fantasy sex of pornography either alone or as a pleasantly stimulating part of their joint sex-life and so long as it doesn't harm anyone, technically it is their legal right to do so as long as both parties are agreeable.

You say the material contained images of girls who you believe were not old enough to have sex legally. There are also countries where anal sex is illegal. If the girls do turn out to be underage, in the UK at least this would be classed as paedophilia. If you believe that under-age people were put into situations where they had to participate in the activities you describe, you may feel it is your duty to report the matter to the police. As for the idea of rape, people normally act in films so this may well not be the case.

I hope you review your options carefully, not just for yourself but for girls who are possibly still legally children. Back to Ask Anne

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