Dear Anne
I am 14 years old. I was born as a girl but for as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a boy. Since I began puberty these feelings have become a lot stronger because I now find it harder to hide the fact I am a girl. It feels like I am trapped inside the wrong body. My parents know the way I feel but they don't understand it and they just think it's something that will go away in time. Sometimes my friends call me a girl just because they know I hate it. I honestly cannot stand being a girl or anyone thinking of me as a girl. I just feel helpless because nobody understands how much I feel like a boy or why I do. Please help! Jo
Dear Jo
I do sympathise with your confusion and distress. Many people go through differing degrees of discomfort about their gender identity. Some do indeed grow out of it, but by no means all. The feeling of being trapped in the wrong body is called gender dysphoria and you are not the only person who feels this way. You may find it helpful to contact the Beaumont Society on 01582-412220. They are a responsible organisation set up to deal with queries like yours and they can talk to you with real understanding so that you have some insight into what you're going through. You may even be able to speak to someone else who's gone through exactly the same thing and who can offer you some tips on how to handle things as you go through puberty.
In the meantime, you may want to change the way you respond to your friends teasing. Instead of rising to their bait and showing that you're angry, could you say, So are you. What's wrong with that? Or even just And?
I do hope that you learn to value yourself for who and what you are. That's far more important than mere biology. I wish you peace of mind and the confidence to be yourself.
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