Dear Anne
I come from Germany and I have a problem. I have a girlfriend but I don`t love her because I am in love with a boy who's three years younger. In some way I must tell my girlfriend, but how? My next problem is that I don`t know how to have sex with my boyfriend. Please help me! Jendrik
Dear Jendrik
Thank you for your letter. Here are some ideas that I hope will help.
Firstly, you say you love this boy. How do you know? Have you asked him out? Does he also fancy you? Is he homosexual? I don't know what the legal age for gay sex is in Germany, but are you both over the age of consent?
It is easy for someone to believe they are in love with someone when actually they'9ve had little contact with the object of their desire. In that case, what they are in love with is a fantasy, rather than the real person. It's infatuation. Is that what's happening for you? Only when you've both had a chance to form a nourishing, stable relationship can you really be in love.
It seems, though, that you are not in love with your girlfriend. It's OK. There's no law that says yo have to be in love with a girlfriend! Isn't it more fair for you to tell her that you believe you may be homosexual than to keep her hanging on? That way she has the chance to find someone who wants the same things out of life as she does. And you'll be free to explore the gay side of your sexuality if that's what you want.
As for how two gay men make love, there are all sorts of ways. If you like you could read gay magazines to pick up tips, go to gay bars and observe, or ask other gay men. Sex doesn't have to involve penetration but it should be safe! You and your partner if he wants you in return can have great fun exploring the possibilities. I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck.
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