Tiscali Rating:   05 out of 10
DIE ANOTHER DAY Certificate: 12A Running time: 123 mins Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Halle, Berry, Judi Dench, Toby Stephens, Rosamund Pike, Rick You, John Cleese, Michael Madsen, Samantha Bond, Madonna Director Lee Tamahori has created the classic Bond cocktail. He took one crazy megalomaniac, a handful of British supercars, a splash of gorgeous women, a pinch of one-liners and mixed it thoroughly with over-the-top action sequences. He was careful to shake and not stir this familiar mixture. The trouble is the resulting concoction is almost undrinkable. Die Another Day sees our hero James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) in the demilitarised zone between North and South Korea. Before long he finds himself in the middle of a diamond deal gone bad and all hell breaks loose before 007 is captured and imprisoned for 14 months. But fear not, James hasn't been forgotten by MI6. He is swapped for Zao, an evil Oriental with a jewel-encrusted face, and the main reason James is in this predicament. No longer in favour back in London, with his 00 status revoked, Bond sets about capturing Zao and finding out who set him up in Korea. His travels take him to Cuba, where he meets American Agent Jinx (Halle Berry). There they discover an evil doctor has perfected a technique where human DNA can be swapped - permanently changing the patient's appearance. Somehow it seems that Zao and Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens), a shameless self-publicist and - surprise, surprise %u2013 megalomaniac, have got together and have big plans for the Western World. In Iceland, in what looks for all the world like a McDonald's Winter Wonderland, Graves unveils his latest masterpiece - Icarus - a giant mirror in space which can reflect the sun's rays anywhere on Earth. Add to this mix Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike), Graves' publicist, who is actually (shsssh) a British Agent and the fun really begins and Bond finally gets the answers he has been searching for. Magnificent stunts and action set pieces are the trademark of any Bond film and Die Another Day is no exception. Hovercrafts, helicopters, planes, cars, parachutes and surfboards are all put to high adrenalin use. The gadgets are all here and John Cleese's portrayal of Q grows stronger - and funnier - each time out. The main problem is, however, that James Bond has become a parody of himself. His dialogue has become a steady stream of corny quips that elicit groans rather than laughs from the audience. The storyline is weak, with the Russians now being friends of the West, North Korea is picked on to be the fall guys - seemingly with no rhyme or reason. Fans of the Bond phenomena and the popcorn munching brigade will find themselves on home ground and enjoy the ride, everyone else will be left wondering how this particular franchise continues to limp along. Rating: 05/10

Click here for game review