Community jokes

Have you recently heard a really funny joke that you would like to share with other Tiscali members?
We'll print the best and funniest jokes that you submit each month.

Send us your jokes

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore is collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many.
"The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and 2 grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way."
The priest, getting impatient said, "I am the Father of hundreds," and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then, he leaned over and whispered, "Maybe you should wear your pants backward instead of your collar."
Diogenes - forum member

A coach driver was taking a group of oap's out for the day. One old lady tapped him on the shoulder and offered him some peanuts so he took a handfull and ate them.
This happened over and over again until the driver said why don't you eat them yourselves?
The old lady said we have no teeth so can't chew them, but we like the chocolate round them.
Twinkle toes- forum member

A woman approaches her priest and tells him, "Father,I have a problem.I have two female talking parrots,but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?", the priest inquires.
"They only know how to say, Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?"
"That's terrible!", the priest exclaims, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male parrots, whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!", the woman exclaims.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding beads and praying.
When the lady puts her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots, her two say, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?".
At which one male parrot looks at the other and shouts, "Put the beads away, our prayers have been answered!"
Althea3 - forum member

A penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Has my brother been in?"
The barman says: "I don't know. What does he look like?"

A man walks into an army surplus store and asks if they have any camouflage jackets.
"Yes we do," says the manager. "But we can't find them.
Mac

A little boys gets lost in the supermarket and manages to find the security guard.
"Excuse me" he says "I've lost my grandad.
"Whats he like?" said the guard.
"Bacardi and Coke and women with big boobs" he replied.
Phil Page